What’s the first thing you think about when you hear the word love? I bet you instantly think of hearts, cupid, dozens of roses, and valentine’s day. Maybe you think of the countless rom-coms and plays like the Notebook and Romeo and Juliet. These are all the things that society thinks of when talking about love. Recently, one of my friends made me think of love in a very different way. She told me that love is louder. At first I didn’t really understand what she meant…. “louder than what?”….but then she explained –Your actions let someone know that you love and care for them. That stuck with me and made me really think about our actions and how we not only show love to others but how we show love to ourselves. 

The end of my senior year was hard many of the people I have went to school with since preschool had stopped being my friend. They wouldn’t talk to me even though I shared almost every single class with them. In a small school it is extremely hard to avoid someone but, they had been doing it successfully for weeks at this point. Each day I would dread going to school knowing that the people that I had considered my friends avoided me at all cost. After I would get my work finished, I would ask the teacher if I could go to my FFA Advisors class.  I would usually talk to her about things like this but she was just about to have a baby and couldn’t be at school so I would go to her class and sit in our officer closet and wait for the day to be over. Most days after school I would go home lay in my bed and cry. I was so confused about what I had done that made them want to treat me this way. Can you imagine going to your senior prom with someone you thought was one of your best friends who then leaves your table before dinner to go sit with the people who were giving you the cold shoulder? I ended up eating dinner with my principle and his wife at my senior prom. At this point, I felt completely defeated. One night, my sister, Malorie, who has always been my best friend, came to my room she sat down on my bed. Mal looked at me with understanding eyes knowing that I needed her in that moment and she said it’s okay to feel this way. Malorie talked about college and the opportunities that we have to make memories and find love in new people. High school was coming to an end but Malorie found a way to make the last few months the best possible.  Mal was the best kind of friend to me because she was able to see that I needed to be shown some love in this especially rough patch.  An American writer Henry Miller said, “the only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we never give enough of is love.” We can all be that person for someone, we can be like Malorie was for me. Loving louder means telling a joke, jammin out in the car, or going on an ice cream run. Malorie showed me that love is more than just a word; it’s the actions and the way you show love that people will truly remember.  I bet we can all think of a time when a friendship turned a little sour, or a time when you really just needed a friend. Was there someone there for you? In return were you there for someone in their time of need? You never know the situation someone is in but showing just a little bit of compassion can be the light at the end of the tunnel for someone who can’t see it. Just an action as simple as giving someone a hug when you know they could really use it or sending a text message letting them know you are thinking of them can mean the world. What actions are you taking to show that you care?  How are you loving others louder?

My sophomore year I decided that I wanted to run for a district officer position. Selection day was quickly approaching, and I was nowhere near ready for my interview. I didn’t really have my speech prepared and was so nervous to walk into the interview room. I was next in line then I heard my name. It was go time I walked in introduced myself and started giving my speech. My voice was so shaky while I was answering the questions. As I finished answering my last question and walked out of the room and I took a huge deep breath. We were all waiting patiently for the slate. They brought it out and didn’t see my name, Claire Bradbury who was slated told me it doesn’t matter if the back of your jacket says Udall, South Central District, Association, or anything at all. The person inside the jacket is the one that has the capability of making a difference. That stayed with me throughout the next year. When Mrs. Van Allen asked if I was going to run for district office again, I was very excited and started writing my speech. This time around I was much more prepared and sounded confident when I answered the questions. It was time they brought out the slate and I saw my name. I was slated for the district sentinel. The weeks leading up to the district banquet I was constantly practicing my speech and. Finally, the District banquet is today and we were making our way to Buhler. All the candidates were sitting in the front row and I had to go first. I gave my speech and felt really good about it. I waited anxiously throughout the entire banquet to hear who was going to be on the new team. The president had the envelope in hand and was ready to announce the new team starting with the sentinel. I was so nervous and disappointed when my name wasn’t called. I was so discouraged I didn’t have another opportunity to run for a district office. I felt defeated. I forgot about what Claire had told me and started thinking about what I could have done differently. I focused on all my weaknesses and compared myself to the other candidates. I was having a hard time getting over it and seeing the things I was capable of doing in my chapter and community. A friend told me to write down my strengths and the thing I was good at. At first it was difficult, in that moment I could only think of my weaknesses.  But as I stopped to think, I realized everyone has strengths, and of course I am no different.  I am a great listener.  I am very caring toward other people. I am a hard worker who doesn’t give up when a task is difficult. We all have different strengths and just because I didn’t get a position or title that I wanted that I could still make a difference. I needed to show more love to myself in that moment to move on and go to the next thing. 

We become our own biggest critics by focusing on our mistakes and all the things we could have done better. Loving louder means recognizing and accepting that everyone makes mistakes and we don’t need to be so hard on ourselves. There are always plenty of other opportunities for each of us to make a difference. If we stop and list our strengths, we realize that list has nothing to do with what’s written on a corduroy jacket, or what it means to have a specific title. Like Claire said, it’s the person IN the jacket who has those strengths and the power to make a difference. Having that realization allows us to love ourselves for who we are.  

British author Robert Holden said “Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.”  Fulling loving yourself is so important. If you are not connected to who you really are how are you going to connect with others? Loving louder is taking time to acknowledge what you appreciate and love about yourself. Love is celebrating the things that you are good at and like doing by setting aside time. Maybe its reading a good book, cooking your favorite meal, going to the movies, or simply curling up on the couch. The point is making time for you. 

Love others. Love yourself. Love Louder.

Miranda Depenbusch, 2018–19 Kansas FFA State Reporter

Love is louder. We all can love others a little bit more. It may be challenging at times to spread love and to be a caring friend when you are struggling to find love for yourself. How do you show yourself that love? Set aside time for yourself and things that you enjoy doing. Love is louder than words. Love is showing understanding and compassion for yourself and others. What actions are we going to take to spread our love? Simple actions make such a huge difference. Surround yourself with people that love and support you, having really great friends that you feel comfortable being you around is incredible. I have made mistakes, failed over and over again, laughed when I wasn’t supposed to, made the wrong choices, but I know that whatever I do I love myself and that I have great friends that love me too. Love others. Love yourself. Love Louder.